Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Ms. Prefection

This week we have met Ms Perfection. Parts of this post that are typed in blue will come directly from the book "Behind Those Eyes"

Does Ms Perfection live at your house well she does at mine but she doesn't show up in my house as much as she does in me when I am and about. I wonder after reading this chapter how many people who see me think I have "it all together" man would they be surprised. 1st of all I am a messie, (don't like housework) and then I am a procrastinator (so I put off the house work). Being Single this is not much of a problem since I only have to appear to be the perfect housekeeper when I am having a family or other function at my house.

Lisa talked about the Sunday Fakeout, you know the one where Satan attacks all Sunday morning as you are trying to get your family ready and the fights in the car on the way to church and then as soon as you get out of the car in the parking lot everyone is all smiles. I don't miss those days, I only had one son so mind were to bad a lot of silence, which can be a good thing. However I now have my a different type of Sunday Fakeout, especially if I don't come up with an activity I like for my Sunday school class until Saturday night. Then I am hurrying around Sunday morning trying to get everything ready and walk into church like I have just had a nice leisurely morning.

The perfect wife she doesn't live in this household no need for her although there are some days when I wouldn't mind the opportunity to see if I could make her exist but only if it is with God's man for this woman.

Now the perfect mom yea she lives here and she has had 39 years to practice but praise God he is taken care of her over the years. Now I just want to show my son unconditional love and be here when he needs me, unfortunately I know I step in sometimes when God wants me to keep my hands off.

The perfect daughter now she lives here in fulforce but it is different from when she was younger and growing up. My mother will be 86 this year and while I want to be there for her all the time I am realizing I can't and sometime Satan puts a guilt trip on me says "What will her neighbors think if you don't go by to check on her tonight" but my mother and I are working out those things. When I was younger I always tried to be the peace maker since I was the middle child and that trait has carried over to adulthood and shows up in Ms. Perfect.

Two things that Lisa said that stood out for me in this chapter are:
1. Appearance of perfection can be deceiving, especially in marriage.
I have dealt with this a lot when I was younger and I would see
other Single women who were more worldly settle down and have
what seemed like a perfect home and family.
2. Women the truth is that God doesn't have to prove anything to let
us see our imperfections, we can manage that all on our own.
The problem is that we don't want others to see them whereas God
wants others to see them so that we can point the way to him.

Now a note of honesty, since last week was my 1st week of ever doing an on-line blogging bible study I was worried that my post was too long when I wrote it so this week I wrote out what I wanted to say before typing it and when I got to the keyboard and started typing God changed it all around.

I love Lisa prayer for this week:
Heavenly Farther, thank you for seeing us from the inside out.
Thank you for desiring a relationship with your daughters that is
based on Love and Grace rather than perfectionism. May we, through
your power, break free from the trap of trying to be perfect. May we
replace our old efforts with with newer, more spiritually minded ones.

Jesus help me to be real, let people see you in me.

If you would like to see what others doing this study have to say click here

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Truth Hurts

Today is the 1st week in our on-line bible study "Behind Those Eyes" that is being hosted by Lelia at Write from the Heart. The author is Lisa Whittle and she is actually taking part in the study with us. Text that is typed in Blue is directly taken from the book.

The chapter for this week is entitled The Truth Hurts and it really does, sometimes more than others.

We were asked to define authenticity and what it means to us. To me being authentic means being real or genuine. I would love to say that I am real all the time but I know that I put on the mask and pretend that everything is fine. Why is that, is it because in our society we have been taught that when people ask "How are you?" they don't really want to know, but are just being polite so we just answer "fine". I love what Lisa said: "Women, our craving for chocolate is nothing in our comparison for our craving for love. Our craving for water after a sweaty workout is nothing in comparison to our craving for genuine acceptance." To me this is why we hide behind our different masks and pretend that we're OK; we fear that we will lose the love or acceptance of the people that are in our lives.

In question 5 Lisa talks about Judas betraying Jesus and the statement that "cover-ups meet a need to get us more of what we want at the time when we don't think the truth will." I recently bought a New Testament Message Bible,(my christian bookstore had them for 5.00) and I loved going back and reading the account of Judas betrayal and than Peter's in this version. When Judas came to kiss Jesus, Matt 26:49 & 50 "He went straight to Jesus, greeted him, 'How are you, Rabbi?' and kissed him. Jesus said, 'Friend, why this charade?'" Jesus knows the deepest parts of my heart and soul and I know there is no pretending with him so why do I put on a charade. Because I live in the real world and like Peter denied Jesus because he was fearful of what people would say or do, I am fearful of being rejected. (I think this comes from my Martha personality). Don't get me wrong all of my co-workers know I am a christian and so do my friends and family, but am I denying Jesus time I could be spending with him when I am watching TV or reading Christian fiction? The answer to that is yes but he is working on me and at least it is Christian fiction now instead of secular. I know he doesn't expect me to spend all my time in the word but I also knows he is aware I could give him more time than I am now.

The challenge question "What is my deepest soul craving" 1. growing closer to him 2. That lonely and hurting women may know God's unconditional Love and grace. ( I know every one needs this but I have a special heart for women who are looking for this in the wrong places becasue except by the grace of god I could be one of them)

I am looking forward to meeting Ms. Perfection next week.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Getting Better

Hey I am already getting better.

Why a Blog

My reason for starting this blog is that I have joined an on-line Bible Study on Tuesday and I want the other members to read my comments. Since I have several friends who are old hats at this blogging thing I will try to make this more appealing to the eye as I get use to the site. I want to add a link in the sidebar to the bible study , which is on "Behind These Eyes" by Liza Whittle. I have never done an on-line bible study so I am stepping out for two new adventures at the same time (please be patient with me, remember "God isn't through with me yet")